have i earned it.
Tipong if you can't handle the pressure you can leave nyahaha.
The more realistic outlook is actually you're going to the Batizado not to prove anything. You're there to learn, to experience. After all that's what you're paying for, right?
I'm pushing myself in all the wrong directions. I realized that if I chill enjoy and focus on actually learning something, I might even be able to apply it. I'm at the mindset that... di lalayo ang capoeira sa akin.
And I think belt or no belt.. it's just THERE.
It's set in na di sha aalis. It's the attitude, the outlook in life, the philosophy you're living, the learning and the comings and goings.
Whatever I do it's probably a capoeira moment.
I attribute things to capoeira, it's more permanent than a tattoo kasi it's burned into a mindset I'm living in.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Littlepig
Zip Up and Hide Inside
Shamani found her curled up cushy under a rock, literally.
"You realize that even if you don't answer back I'm still capable of tracking you down by regular means." Rive mumbled back something and stayed curled. The mushy grass underneath seemed comfortable enough for a cozy siesta. But that was beside the point right now.
"Stomach ache, emo moment? what?"
"I don't want to go back. I wanna stay here." Emo moment.
Shammy gave her the exasperated 'tsk' with matching hands on hips. Kicking the prone body in smoky, slightly ripped up clothes would help dust off her friend.
"Look, ok. You can't stay. We agreed on this. Everyone else is home already, and I have more cases to deal with tomorrow, I have an early meeting and other things." Saturating her with real life was really not a good idea at the moment but Shamani was touching the fringes of frustration. There better be a good reason for this.
"I'm all out of cute." Rive mumbled so contritely she didn't know what to make out of it. She didn't look like she was going to be moving either. She was just there. "I'm safer here, I don't want to go back."
"Ok" Shamani bit down. "What happened." She didn't want to point out this minute about how many bugs her friend could have in her hair now. Looking at the area she was in, the bugs probably got dusted off along with the rest of the vicinity. Rive was that easy to find since the rock she was under was the only patch of green in the middle of desolation.
"It took a lot of self level heading to handle last night," Rive began. "I was more nervous and annoyed than anything. But I realize that giving the nice couple 1000 for scratching their car and dealing with them was a better alternative than having to deal with the swearing Indian dude. I thought he hit me. I didn't notice I hit the other car. I was trying to skivvy off from paying 1000, come on. Buffering is just... what? 300? Then I'm thinking that it's better to have dealt with them instead, giving them that amount rather than the mysterious other leg of what could have happened if I would have had to deal with the other guy."
Shamani nodded encouragingly.
"She gave me back 200 cause she felt sorry for me. It was taking all my cute to talk my way out of the whole thing. At least for 800 they wouldn't feel so bad, right? At least they have enough for a carwash and wax too right."
Shamani mmm-hmm'd appropriately in the normal tandem of understanding the story.
"So why are you still feeling so bad?" she asked. Get this over with.
"I'm not sure. Shell-shocked as always, wondering how far cute and charming gets you. How it's easier to understand logic, explain logic rather than understand vibe the ebb you emanate... that you can't really explain." Rive was mumbo-jumbo-ing.
"Well, you're ok now."
"I guess. Still feel bad and weird and let-down."
"That you used cute and it only got so far as 200 bucks instead of, what 500?"
"If it was the other way around, it might seem rather fair."
"Yes."
"And I do wish that if their kids got in the same situation, I suppose karma dictates that other people would be as kind as they were to me, right?"
"Right."
Rive stood up and Shamani took them home, for now.
Shamani found her curled up cushy under a rock, literally.
"You realize that even if you don't answer back I'm still capable of tracking you down by regular means." Rive mumbled back something and stayed curled. The mushy grass underneath seemed comfortable enough for a cozy siesta. But that was beside the point right now.
"Stomach ache, emo moment? what?"
"I don't want to go back. I wanna stay here." Emo moment.
Shammy gave her the exasperated 'tsk' with matching hands on hips. Kicking the prone body in smoky, slightly ripped up clothes would help dust off her friend.
"Look, ok. You can't stay. We agreed on this. Everyone else is home already, and I have more cases to deal with tomorrow, I have an early meeting and other things." Saturating her with real life was really not a good idea at the moment but Shamani was touching the fringes of frustration. There better be a good reason for this.
"I'm all out of cute." Rive mumbled so contritely she didn't know what to make out of it. She didn't look like she was going to be moving either. She was just there. "I'm safer here, I don't want to go back."
"Ok" Shamani bit down. "What happened." She didn't want to point out this minute about how many bugs her friend could have in her hair now. Looking at the area she was in, the bugs probably got dusted off along with the rest of the vicinity. Rive was that easy to find since the rock she was under was the only patch of green in the middle of desolation.
"It took a lot of self level heading to handle last night," Rive began. "I was more nervous and annoyed than anything. But I realize that giving the nice couple 1000 for scratching their car and dealing with them was a better alternative than having to deal with the swearing Indian dude. I thought he hit me. I didn't notice I hit the other car. I was trying to skivvy off from paying 1000, come on. Buffering is just... what? 300? Then I'm thinking that it's better to have dealt with them instead, giving them that amount rather than the mysterious other leg of what could have happened if I would have had to deal with the other guy."
Shamani nodded encouragingly.
"She gave me back 200 cause she felt sorry for me. It was taking all my cute to talk my way out of the whole thing. At least for 800 they wouldn't feel so bad, right? At least they have enough for a carwash and wax too right."
Shamani mmm-hmm'd appropriately in the normal tandem of understanding the story.
"So why are you still feeling so bad?" she asked. Get this over with.
"I'm not sure. Shell-shocked as always, wondering how far cute and charming gets you. How it's easier to understand logic, explain logic rather than understand vibe the ebb you emanate... that you can't really explain." Rive was mumbo-jumbo-ing.
"Well, you're ok now."
"I guess. Still feel bad and weird and let-down."
"That you used cute and it only got so far as 200 bucks instead of, what 500?"
"If it was the other way around, it might seem rather fair."
"Yes."
"And I do wish that if their kids got in the same situation, I suppose karma dictates that other people would be as kind as they were to me, right?"
"Right."
Rive stood up and Shamani took them home, for now.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Eeet iz aaaaht
What do you see?
I had this picture for a while now thinking of why I had this picture of my coffee in a mug... with coffee dregs in it. I slapped something on it and now it's evocative.
I wanted to say something about how an artist views the mundane and unnoticed and thinks hey, it's God-given, creative and natural. It's art, to one, to another. To me, it was just my coffee dregs in a cup. Here's how the artful BS would go:
"The swills around my leftover cup of coffee describes the last dregs of energy I'm getting from it." I would insert some laments and coffee-and-energy related phrases but I think you get the idea...
No...? Well. Just because someone tells you their unerring belief in anything, it's an opinion that you don't have to share. The Louvre features a smorgasborg of art, generally accepted art... but it's not like you love each and every bit of all of them by all the artists featured. At one point, you'll back off from a disturbing piece that another would rave about.
How does art make you feel? What emotions are stirred? How do you see yourself in art? Why is it art?
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